Thoughts on Change

I've had a lot of change in my life over the past two years. A lot of it has been really hard, but with time and space it's become easier and evident that the change has been a good thing. 

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The past two months in particular had been quite a stable time for me. I thought I was pretty done with any big changes. But I was wrong. 

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Being wrong about change sucks. Being wrong allows change to sneak up on you and swallow you whole, then spit you out broken and sad and crying. 

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But with time, the change will heal, and everything will be fine, because that's what change does, and that's how life flows. 

(on an unrelated note: Here's my latest video) 

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It's no secret that I create a lot of different stuff, from music and sculpture, to (more recently) videos, I have my fingers in a lot of creative pies. 

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I just have this drive to create.  

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For me, creating stuff is ultimate freedom. When I'm not creating I feel caged in and trapped. 

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I've been thinking quite a bit about why I have my finger in so many creative pies. I've finally started to unravel the thoughts and feelings surrounding my creative output. 

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I want freedom. I want freedom of expression. I want freedom of time. I want freedom of materials and imagination. 

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One of the "rules" of adulthood is that you don't get to create and imagine like a child. You're not allowed to have an illogical river of ideas and creativity, and if you do, you're certainly not allowed to express them. 

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To express yourself in an authentic creative way is to break society's rules. To live a completely creative life, free from corporate shackles is to defy the rules that are drilled into every tiny school student. Don't question, just follow. Don't create, just copy. Do what you're told, when you're told to do it.  

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Now, don't get me wrong. There's a lot of merit to education, and there are some really good things about modern education. But there are also a lot of things that are screwed up, which is how we find ourselves in a society that touts creatives as rulebreakers. 

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I have to chase my creativity. It's my path to freedom. I am a creative. I am a rulebreaker, and hopefully someday I will be free. 

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Epilogue: I tried something new with my video creating again. I decided to make a teeny tiny cover of the adventure time theme song. I made a tiny Finn and a Tiny Jake, put them in a number of different settings in my back yard, and this is what came out. I hope you like it :) 

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I have a blister. 

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Now, ordinarily this wouldn't be a big deal. I'd ignore the pain and get on with my day, feeling a little grouchy that walking hurts, but, this blister isn't in the usual spot (the back of my heal). It,s on my left hand index finger, right at the very tip.  

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You're probably (not) wondering how one gets a blister in such an unusual place (unless you play a string instrument, then you'll know instantly). 

I may have played too much ukulele. I definately played too much ukulele. 

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You would never think that ukulele's would be blister causing houses of pain, but they are. My fingertip is proof. 

It came as a surprise that one could receive such an injury. Sure, my string friends have complained of blisters, but they play "proper" instruments with steel strings. This was just a tiny cute innocent ukulele. 

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Don't get me wrong, you can injure yourself playing flute too (I have some first hand experience there) but I can't think of a single instance a flautist has played themselves into a blister. (Thinking of it, if you know someone who has, let me know! I'm genuinely interested to know how that would happen!) 

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Anyway, lets use that as a semi awkward segway: I recorded a new video today. A sweet little ditty called Avalon. I did some singing, and some tute-ing on all three of my bohem system flutes, as well as some sub par (but fun for me) ukulele. 

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To sound like  a bit of an artistic wanker for a small moment, I've really been enjoying diversifying my skill set. When I did the recording/video editing process today I understood a little bit more about the process/software off the bat AND I learned a bunch of new things! I'm in no way brilliant, but I'm getting better yo! 

 

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