Little green monsters.

Success is a very messy concept. 

There are so many different types, and different levels. There's your own idea of your success, and other peoples idea of what your success should be. 

Then there's the comparisons. How is your success the same/different compared to those other people? Why are they more/less successful than you? Should you be doing things differently to reach their success. Do you even want to? 

As someone who works in a creative field, I tend to think about success a lot (because creative success usually entails getting paid a living wage of some description). I really want to be a performer, so I spend a lot of time doing things to perfect my craft. I also have a lot of creative hobbies. While I love being creative, and thinking about how I can get my art seen/ music heard, I have to be really careful to not fall down the "I'm just as good, so why is (Insert whoever here) getting more attention/getting paid properly to do what they love" rabbit hole. 

Social media makes not comparing creative success really hard. You can literally measure someone's success in numbers. What's more, you can keep rigorous track of your own numbers. Take my instagram feed for example. I'm ashamed to say, at one point I knew exactly how many followers I'd gained/lost at any particular time, and depending on which had happened, I'd either feel content or a bit sad.

I've been working recently on not comparing myself to other people, particularly creatively. It's a recipe for disaster, and usually ends up destroying my own creative output. Instead, I've been focusing on the small successes - Like having a billion gigs, and getting that new technique down.   

I've also been thinking about what I expect of myself vs what others expect of me. I know what I love to do, and it's started to defer a little from the original plan, but will (in theory) end up in the same place. 

TLDR - Comparing your level of success can be bad. TLDR 2 - Rambly blog post is rambly and disjointed.