I had my first gig with Button Collective on Monday. It was amazing. The crowd was great, the musicians I was playing with were great, and the songs we were playing were great. It was just a brilliant night, with brilliant peeps and brilliant music and I cannot wait to do it again next Monday.
Like many people in their early 20's I've been doing a lot of thinking about life, and I've come to a few realisations, mostly concerning the artistic path I'm traveling down.
I decided that I wanted to play flute for a living when I was 6. My parents had this tape called Lord of the Dance, which I watched on a regular basis. I loved the music, and I especially love the sound of the flute. When I eventually took up flute 4 years later I was directed down a classical path. The classical education I received was brilliant, and has prepared me wonderfully for the professional music world, but it did have some downfalls, the most notable of which was a conservative approach to musical occupations (preparing for a non classical carreer was never presented as an option).
The other educational misfortune I've experienced was the idea that I have to choose one artistic discipline. When I was in year 12 I was made to choose between visual arts and music. (obviously) I chose music, and up until semester 2 last year I hadn't really approached art making "properly" since Highschool (and even then, I've only really started to get back into the swing of artmaking over the last few months. I filled a sketch book this week. I haven't done that since highschool yo!)
As much as I love music, sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, although recently the thought has been why did I choose at all (I actually know exactly why I felt like I had to choose. The way the HSC/University applications/subjects are structured makes it incredibly difficult to play around with the idea specialising in more than one subject. That and my school teachers offered me no advice about my options)
I've been left with this creative need. In a dream world I would be able to study music and creative arts full time side by side, and not have to worry about how I can fund my creative pursuits. But that's not the way life works. I feel like outside of the creative bubbles found in major cities, the general populous actively tries to oppress the "creative" way of life, because didn't you know, the idea of living off your art is silly and unobtainable because it's not "real" work.
If you made it to the end of my creative soap box ramble congratulations! I'd love to know if you've ever had a similar "existential crisis" and what it's about.