How do you function when you can’t answer emails? I have an answer and in my case, the answer is “with great difficulty and frequent panic”. In theory, attending to unread emails is a neutral task - a benign activity that elicits little feeling. Unfortunately for me, banality is a privilege I don’t have access to. 

According to my adrenal gland, checking and actioning emails decided that answering emails is directly proportional to being hunted by “Insert Predator Here”. Even just thinking about emails is enough to raise my heart rate and make my whole body freeze. Each reply requires a carefully curated routine of climbing the wall of awful, deep breathing whilst simultaneously dealing with the dread of “the aftermath” (a state of maximum exhaustion I’m left in after dealing with any number of emails).

Logically, one would think that if checking+actioning emails conjures panic, then doing the opposite would create calm? How I wish this were true. Leaving my inboxes to gather cobwebs extracts a different kind of distress. There is no winning with this task. 

My email distress is honestly pretty isolating. Emails are a fact of life in our modern society and most adults I know tackle them with unfathomable ease. Whenever I’ve expressed the difficulties I have around inbox based practices, those I’ve expressed them to look at me like I’ve decided to pack up my things and move to mars. 

Perhaps one day I’ll get over “whatever this is” and reply to emails and messages promptly. Until then, I’m sorry if I’ve not answered you recently, my emails are hunting me and I can only run so fast.

About the outfit: I took these photos in November last year after deciding to go pink. I’ve always admired those fashionable monochromatic ladies, like the green lady of New York. I’ve not gone completely pink, but I can’t say I’ve not been gravitating towards the colour after embedding in my keratin. I made my overalls with fabric I’d acquired from spotlight many moons ago and matched it with a blouse my mum gave me that I added lace to (moral of the story, never be afraid to attack your garments with lace and a sewing machine). Bubble Gum pink Dr Martens and bright pink eyeshadow complete the look.  

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FINANCIAL REALISM SEGMENT!

I’m trying to be more open about my finances/the time/money and energy that goes into this creative work. I’ve reached a point where I no longer have the energy to work creatively and work a day job. Many hours of labour go into a post like this - I sewed the pants, which took me a day, the photos took 1 hour to shoot, 3 hours to edit/upload.

Writing this post in particular took 1 hour, and the social media management and promotion takes an additional hour. my website is with Squarespace which also costs $$

If you’d like to support my endeavour to make this sort of work my “real job” (this includes my music and upcoming sewing videos) you can do so for the price of a coffee by using the form to your left. If you’d like to support me AND get a thing in return for your $$, consider buying my music on BANDCAMP or hopping over to my ONLINE STORE and buying a print, bow, music ETC :)

Big thanks to my regular Ko-Fi Supporter Gemma! If you’d like to join her in my super exclusive community and support my art for $5 a month, click over to my Ko Fi Page! You’ll get access to videos and blog posts early, and I’ll thankyou (like this!) when I release the things.