I’ve spent a lot of time since graduating uni obsessing over the idea of success. What does it mean to me? What does it mean to other people? What resources do I need? What steps do I need to take? How does it relate to the art I’m producing?
It’s that last question that really gets me thinking. How does my success relate to my art? One would think that success drives the need to create more and or better things, and to an extent it does. However, every time I’ve had a huge spurt of inspiration or creative energy it’s been fueled by failure.
Success is what keeps me in the artistic lifestyle, but failure is what makes me hunger to get better. When I don’t see the results I want, it increases the hunger for me to improve, especially when the failure is entangled with something I’m making (for instance, a bad gig, a bad recording or maybe a bad photoshoot)
As morbid as it sounds, I think it’s the feeling of worthlessness that accompanies failure that makes me want to get better. Getting better at the thing makes the yucky feelings go away (for a moment at least). Saying that, it’s not a linear progression. Sometimes I’ll stagnate or get worse after a failure, but I’ll keep fighting through. In my experience the results are always worth it.
So the whole thing that inspired this little philosophical ramble is a realisation I had about my youtube videos recently. When I film myself during the recording process I end up with both a sub par film, and sub par audio. It will be a bit more work, but filming after recording (at least for me) is the way to go right now. (At least until I can afford a 5 piece film crew ;P)
Something that was a success for me *semi* recently was the creation of this dress :3 I’ve been wanting to sew a dress with ridiculous bell sleeves for a while, and was enabled by a spotlight sale and “end of roll” discount. About 4 meters of fabric went into the creation of this dress. Best decision ever! :D