Thoughts on Change

I've had a lot of change in my life over the past two years. A lot of it has been really hard, but with time and space it's become easier and evident that the change has been a good thing. 


The past two months in particular had been quite a stable time for me. I thought I was pretty done with any big changes. But I was wrong. 


Being wrong about change sucks. Being wrong allows change to sneak up on you and swallow you whole, then spit you out broken and sad and crying. 


But with time, the change will heal, and everything will be fine, because that's what change does, and that's how life flows. 

(on an unrelated note: Here's my latest video) 

Old Granny Chair

I have a blister. 


Now, ordinarily this wouldn't be a big deal. I'd ignore the pain and get on with my day, feeling a little grouchy that walking hurts, but, this blister isn't in the usual spot (the back of my heal). It,s on my left hand index finger, right at the very tip.  


You're probably (not) wondering how one gets a blister in such an unusual place (unless you play a string instrument, then you'll know instantly). 

I may have played too much ukulele. I definately played too much ukulele. 


You would never think that ukulele's would be blister causing houses of pain, but they are. My fingertip is proof. 

It came as a surprise that one could receive such an injury. Sure, my string friends have complained of blisters, but they play "proper" instruments with steel strings. This was just a tiny cute innocent ukulele. 

On the chair .jpg

Don't get me wrong, you can injure yourself playing flute too (I have some first hand experience there) but I can't think of a single instance a flautist has played themselves into a blister. (Thinking of it, if you know someone who has, let me know! I'm genuinely interested to know how that would happen!) 

hand on shoulder.jpg

Anyway, lets use that as a semi awkward segway: I recorded a new video today. A sweet little ditty called Avalon. I did some singing, and some tute-ing on all three of my bohem system flutes, as well as some sub par (but fun for me) ukulele. 

sitting cute .jpg

To sound like  a bit of an artistic wanker for a small moment, I've really been enjoying diversifying my skill set. When I did the recording/video editing process today I understood a little bit more about the process/software off the bat AND I learned a bunch of new things! I'm in no way brilliant, but I'm getting better yo! 



January Tour catchup Part Two

Here are the next 5 outfits of the summer tour I did with Vanishing Shapes. It's interesting how quickly one ceases to remember fine details when you're removed from an event/series of events for a period of time. Basically I can't remember the finer details of what happened on our tour the days these photos were taken because so much has happened since returning. 

Over the last few days I've also had  a ton of stuff to talk about, but now I've forgotten, so I'm just going to post the photos and let it be. 

Day 9 Looking Down.jpg

So, it's a new year or whatever.

Is it weird that I don't really care about it being a New Year? With the lifestyle I'm currently leading, time is a somewhat arbitrary and anxiety inducing concept, and this "magical phenomenon" known as "New Year" is just a small, inconvenient blip on my radar. 

Despite my pessimistic philosophising, I actually had a pretty great new years eve. I spent it in Gulgong with the Button Collective playing Brodie's songs and Irish music. This is the second new year in a row that I've been with the Buttons playing Irish music as the clock ticks over, and I think it's definitely my favourite way to celebrate this arbitrary occasion.  

Like the last time I disappeared from this blog space, these photos were not taken recently. I took these back in October when life was slightly less hectic. I overcommitted myself through November and December, and although I probably had the time to to bloggy internety things, I just didn't have the mental or emotional energy. 

I'm not one for setting "New Year Resolutions" but this "personal growth goal type thing" just happened to coincide with the thing. Last year, particularly towards the end, I felt as if I was drowning beneath a huge pile of "to do's" and anxiety. This made doing "arty things" like working on this blog, and sewing, and making art pretty difficult. 

I'm determined to not let that happen as often to the extent that it did. I've broken my work schedule down into a really basic bare minimum work style. (basically, I've got a very small set amount of regular work I have to achieve on a weekly basis. If I'm up to it, I'm going to do more, if I'm not, well, I'm slowing chipping away at the work pile, which will keep me from metaphorically drowning) 

One last thing, I feel the need to apologise for my absence and for talking about my mental health all the time. I know intellectually that I don't need to. It's more of an apology to myself more than whoever happens to read this blog. I suppose I feel a personal guilt, because I've been neglecting this space, and miss it so much. 

OK, actual last thing. I'm going on tour with Vanishing Shapes. We'll be going up to Brisbane! If you happen to live between Sydney and there, and have some free time on your hands, here are our tour dates

I think thats enough word vomit. Enjoy your day! 

Get on ya Bike

There's so much pop culture mythology surrounding receiving the perfect bicycle. I can remember being younger, and watching several television shows where the tiny, yet double digit child/ren covet the "perfect bike", but it's way too expensive, and then they either win it in a competition, mow all the lawns for those $$ or get it as a surprise for "being a good child or whatever". 

Although the details of these shows/plots have long since left me, I still remember the excitement of the perfect bike written into the show. After maturing into what some would call an adult, I thought I would never get to experience "new bike excitement" ever again (because as great as bikes are, "stuff" doesn't make me excited/bring fulfilment like it did when I was a wee lass) 

Long story short, my parents bought me the perfect bike for my birthday, and I was able to experience that child like wonder/excitement. Legit, I felt 10 years old again. My birthdays in July, we picked out the bike in May (complete with basket and bag rack) and I basically thought about how cool it was going to be/how fun it would be to ride/how great having a basket was going to be for 3 months. 

Like many children in these shows, the first few days after bringing the bike home I found myself wondering if I was responsible enough to handle having such a nice bike (pro tip: Totally am responsible enough).

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that with this nice weather I've basically been riding my bike as much as I can, and (finally) took photos of her. I've also named her Beatrice because 1) I'm weird and like to name inanimate objects 2) Beatrice is a great name.  

Bikes yo! So much fun!!