Little green monsters.

Success is a very messy concept. 

There are so many different types, and different levels. There's your own idea of your success, and other peoples idea of what your success should be. 

Then there's the comparisons. How is your success the same/different compared to those other people? Why are they more/less successful than you? Should you be doing things differently to reach their success. Do you even want to? 

As someone who works in a creative field, I tend to think about success a lot (because creative success usually entails getting paid a living wage of some description). I really want to be a performer, so I spend a lot of time doing things to perfect my craft. I also have a lot of creative hobbies. While I love being creative, and thinking about how I can get my art seen/ music heard, I have to be really careful to not fall down the "I'm just as good, so why is (Insert whoever here) getting more attention/getting paid properly to do what they love" rabbit hole. 

Social media makes not comparing creative success really hard. You can literally measure someone's success in numbers. What's more, you can keep rigorous track of your own numbers. Take my instagram feed for example. I'm ashamed to say, at one point I knew exactly how many followers I'd gained/lost at any particular time, and depending on which had happened, I'd either feel content or a bit sad.

I've been working recently on not comparing myself to other people, particularly creatively. It's a recipe for disaster, and usually ends up destroying my own creative output. Instead, I've been focusing on the small successes - Like having a billion gigs, and getting that new technique down.   

I've also been thinking about what I expect of myself vs what others expect of me. I know what I love to do, and it's started to defer a little from the original plan, but will (in theory) end up in the same place. 

TLDR - Comparing your level of success can be bad. TLDR 2 - Rambly blog post is rambly and disjointed. 

Classic Minnie

shoes Guess who's finally at the stage in their assignments where they can stop panicking because the bulk of the work is finished 3 ish days before it's due. ME THAT'S WHO!  These assignments have been hanging over my head like huge dark clouds filled with cold, anger and sadness for the last month and a bit, but now that feeling has gone away. Even though they're not done yet, I feel so free!

Walking towards camera landscape

Apart from wining at assignment time management, I played gig 5/5 for this week. This gig was at the Maitland Bowling Club for a fundraiser some people were hosting. It was an interesting gig. We played 3 short (for us) sets of music. For two sets we were kind of sort of background music. In our last set, the host managed to get everyone on the dance floor which was super fun.

Holding skirt edged up

Believe it or not, this outfit is a "I've woken up late, and I have no time to get ready" outfit. We had to be at the venue at 11, which meant I had to wake up at 15 to 9 so I could get ready and leave at a leisurely pace. Instead I woke up late, and rushed to get ready. I pretty much always wear red, black and white when I'm running late because those are the 3 most prevalent colours/tones in my wardrobe.

I'm also wearing my concert makeup because I couldn't be bothered removing my makeup after the gig.

spinny skirt detail

As you can see in the photo above, I'm actually wearing a petticoat under this skirt to give it more poof. This skirt looks pretty terrible without a petticoat. It hangs a bit limp and doesn't have much shape. I made the petticoat out of the black version of the tulle I used for the skirt so that they kind of matched with a slight contrast.

Sideways walking tree

I don't really have much else to say right now. I'm pretty spent, and that feeling isn't going to leave for a few weeks (It'll take me a few weeks to recover from my fortnight of crazy) so apologies in advanced if my writing dies (not that it's very good to begin with :P)

headshot

 

 

 

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