22 Things I Have Learnt Since Turning 22 - Guest Post Coliston

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Huzzah! It's time for guest post number 2! This time it's Courtney Loxton, who is a singer, songwriter and all around cool human (Who I'm lucky enough to call a friend). She also has a blog -  Coliston. You can get her words of wisdom regularly from there! :)  

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1. Balance is the key to most things. Eat kale and chocolate. Exercise and lounge around on the couch. Drink water and wine. Laugh and cry. Life is about balance.
2. Your freckles will always be there. Please stop disliking them. The sun loves you so much, it has kissed your skin forevermore. What a privilege.
3. At the end of the day, you have to look after you. No matter what shit people throw at you, yell at you, put you through, that's THEIR life. Not yours. THEIR words, THEIR opinions. When you go to bed at night, think nothing else of what they say.
4.Tea fixes everything. Even just for 5 minutes.

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5. You'll find someone who changes your life forever. You'll know who it is and you'll know when it happens. Because everything about them will be so familiar, your whole world will change in an instant and you will think "Oh there you are. Where have you been? I've been waiting for you."

6. Books have more information, more magic and more truth in them then TV or the Internet ever will.

7. Nothing beats pen to paper. Write write write!

8.Comparing yourself to others is toxic, useless and will only make you upset. There is no one in the universe like you. Embrace who you are!

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9. Anxiety will not rule your life.

10. You are 22 years old but your soul is much older.

11. There's always room for dessert. 12. Don't ever judge someone until you get to know them. You might not like the way they dress, but you might love the way they think.

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13. There's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to stay in for the night instead of going out.

14. Having said that, make sure you push yourself every now and then to venture into the world and meet new people. You never know who might meet... 15. Never underestimate the power of doing something nice for yourself.

16. If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough.

 

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17. You are allowed to be selfish every now and then. 18. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It shows true strength and courage to seek assistance and support at some point in our lives. We don't have to do anything alone, there will always be someone there to help.

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19. Be an individual. Don't follow the crowd. You are different for a reason, find that reason and embrace it whole heartedly. You are here for a purpose and you'll never it if you're following someone else's purpose.

20. Eating ice cream out of the tub is totally acceptable.

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21. Worrying is like praying for what you don't want. 22. It costs $0.00 to be a good and decent human being. So be kind to people, smile at others, don't spread hate (in the real world or online) and just remember that at the end of the day, we are all equals. We are all human. We all deserve the best.

Court xxx

It's ok to not be ok - Guest post by Rachel Maria Cox

shoes This is my lovely friend Rachel Maria Cox. They're a brilliant musician and founder of a fabulous project called Sad Grrrls club, which was originally a collective of female identifying musicians, but has since grown to encompass artists and writers as well. We had an impromptu photo shoot the other day, and decided that it's about time they do a guest post! Rachel is one of the most wisest and passionate people I know. Thank you so much for your wonderful wise words <3

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I look at these photos, and there’s a lot that runs through my head. The first thing I notice is that I hate my teeth. They are yellow, which I know is a result of a combination of factors. I notice that I look skinny, and also that I do not look as skinny as I would like. I notice how bland my outfit this day was, mainly because my outfit choices are currently narrowed down by three criteria: can I wear it to work? Will it keep me kind of warm? Does it still fit?

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My name is Rachel Maria Cox and in three days I will embark on the first annual Sad Grrrls Tour. I am excited that something I have worked so hard for has actually come to fruition. I am also, perhaps appropriately or perhaps ironically, the saddest I have ever been. I have lost ten kilos in three months, 18 since the start of the year, through a combination of anorexic and bulimic behaviours that have made me isolated, physically sick, depressed and exhausted. I am constantly anxious, sad or both. Yesterday I cried for an hour straight on a train by myself, unable to stop myself. I am addicted to laxatives. And I am telling you all about this, not for attention or sympathy, but to let everyone know that THIS IS ALL OKAY.

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Last week it was R U OK Day. This is a great concept but a lot of people seem to miss the point and it becomes a constant reminder of how little most people know about mental illness. While I don’t want to go on a massive rant about how it’s not that hard to educate yourself on what to do/say (heck, the RUOK website had a really useful and simple guide to that), I will say simply this – it is no use to post a #ruok to your social media feeds and expect that to do anything. You have to A) care every goddamn day of your life and B) be prepared for those closest to you to say at any time in their life “I’m not okay”.  This year I have gotten a lot better at saying to the people I am closest to “I’m not okay. I need your help, here is what you can do”. It has taken me years of psychotherapy, five separate hospitalizations and ongoing support from my close friends and family to get me to this point. It is still a difficult thing to say. But I can say it. And no matter how far I still have to go in my recovery, I am proud of that.

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On R U OK Day this year, I realized it is liberating to admit that you are not okay. It means other people who are not okay approach you and say “I’m not okay either”. It means people who you rarely speak to say “I admire you for being so open about your struggles, because they are my struggles too”. It is okay to say you’re not okay, and by saying I wasn’t okay, I gave a few other people a voice to say “same here”.  This, to me, is what sad grrrls club is all about. This is why I started a movement for people who want to sing about how they feel. This is why I want to tell everyone it’s okay to be angry, sad, scared, anxious, mentally ill, physically ill, be yourself and be honest about that because it can, and often does, work out well for you. This has not really been about my clothes that much. I think Jenny won’t mind (I don't - Jen). RMC.