Windmills

It's no secret that I create a lot of different stuff, from music and sculpture, to (more recently) videos, I have my fingers in a lot of creative pies. 

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I just have this drive to create.  

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For me, creating stuff is ultimate freedom. When I'm not creating I feel caged in and trapped. 

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I've been thinking quite a bit about why I have my finger in so many creative pies. I've finally started to unravel the thoughts and feelings surrounding my creative output. 

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I want freedom. I want freedom of expression. I want freedom of time. I want freedom of materials and imagination. 

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One of the "rules" of adulthood is that you don't get to create and imagine like a child. You're not allowed to have an illogical river of ideas and creativity, and if you do, you're certainly not allowed to express them. 

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To express yourself in an authentic creative way is to break society's rules. To live a completely creative life, free from corporate shackles is to defy the rules that are drilled into every tiny school student. Don't question, just follow. Don't create, just copy. Do what you're told, when you're told to do it.  

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Now, don't get me wrong. There's a lot of merit to education, and there are some really good things about modern education. But there are also a lot of things that are screwed up, which is how we find ourselves in a society that touts creatives as rulebreakers. 

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I have to chase my creativity. It's my path to freedom. I am a creative. I am a rulebreaker, and hopefully someday I will be free. 

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Epilogue: I tried something new with my video creating again. I decided to make a teeny tiny cover of the adventure time theme song. I made a tiny Finn and a Tiny Jake, put them in a number of different settings in my back yard, and this is what came out. I hope you like it :) 

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I have a blister. 

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Now, ordinarily this wouldn't be a big deal. I'd ignore the pain and get on with my day, feeling a little grouchy that walking hurts, but, this blister isn't in the usual spot (the back of my heal). It,s on my left hand index finger, right at the very tip.  

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You're probably (not) wondering how one gets a blister in such an unusual place (unless you play a string instrument, then you'll know instantly). 

I may have played too much ukulele. I definately played too much ukulele. 

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You would never think that ukulele's would be blister causing houses of pain, but they are. My fingertip is proof. 

It came as a surprise that one could receive such an injury. Sure, my string friends have complained of blisters, but they play "proper" instruments with steel strings. This was just a tiny cute innocent ukulele. 

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Don't get me wrong, you can injure yourself playing flute too (I have some first hand experience there) but I can't think of a single instance a flautist has played themselves into a blister. (Thinking of it, if you know someone who has, let me know! I'm genuinely interested to know how that would happen!) 

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Anyway, lets use that as a semi awkward segway: I recorded a new video today. A sweet little ditty called Avalon. I did some singing, and some tute-ing on all three of my bohem system flutes, as well as some sub par (but fun for me) ukulele. 

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To sound like  a bit of an artistic wanker for a small moment, I've really been enjoying diversifying my skill set. When I did the recording/video editing process today I understood a little bit more about the process/software off the bat AND I learned a bunch of new things! I'm in no way brilliant, but I'm getting better yo! 

 

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Grey Sunflowers.

I'm a bit sick of talking about my feelings, especially at the moment and especially here. All of my posts recently have been about my negative feels, and I don't want this space to be about that. 

Unfortunately it's pretty hard to not talk about the massive funk which I've found myself in when it takes up a good percentage of my brain. To break the 4th wall for a second, I've literally been sitting here for a good half hour trying to write about something other than my feelings, and it's just not happening. 

Part of the funk is definitely because I haven't made new clothes recently. I've talked about this before, but making outfits is hard for me when I'm not making new clothes frequently, but then again, making clothes is hard when all I want to do is watch netflix. 

These are all super duper first world problems, but gosh darn it, I really don't care at the moment. I'm allowed to feel not great even when others have it way worse. Anyway, those are my thoughts in all of their raw, rambly glory. 

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(As per usual) life has been a tad hectic lately. I had gigs with the Button Collective in Sydney/Canberra Thursday and Friday, then spent 6 hours on a bus to/from my rehearsal with Shapes. Sunday was a bit quieter as I went landscape painting with Dad (But, for anyone that's not done landscape painting, it requires a lot of concentration/brain power) Here's an ok photo of what I ended up painting

I've actually been doing a boat load of painting recently (particularly over the last few days - I may have been bombarding my instagram with my work :s) 

It's really odd (in a good way) to be able to fully realise the images I can see in my head. I can remember being 5 and having the ideas, but not the fine motor skills to be able to fully realise my ideas. Even throughout highschool my work was pretty hit and miss. Looking back on it, it was a combination of not using the right medium for me, not understanding the medium I was using, and not practicing enough because of the crazy amount of flute I was doing. 

I took an elective in my last year at uni which was called "introduction to 2D studies". It was a pretty non course, but provided me with a valuable epiphany. We were doing a still life on canvas using acrylics, and I kept watering mine down until they were basically behaving like watercolours. Unless it's a 3D project, I pretty much exclusively work in watercolour. 

I love the way watercolour is predictably unpredictable. You don't just put down pigment and have that be the end. You can alter block colours by adding water/pigment to make the colours run. You can revive colours that have already been applied/dried and change their drying pattern. When creating a wash, applying the pigment or the water first creates a ginormous difference. 

I've got two pallets and a couple of tubes that I use for doing the thing. The first good quality watercolours I purchased were the Windsor and Newton Cotman watercolours. Eckersleys was having a sale, and the set was dramatically reduced and came with a whole bunch of "basic" colours. The other pallet I have is full of half pans I've purchased individually (mostly Windsor and Newton, just because that's what my local art supply store stocks). I've also got 2 tubes of wet watercolour and 1 tube of Gouache. I've got a tube of Prussian blue (because it's the colour I use most) and a tube of Daniel Smith Extra fine Interference green (Because it's a sparkly semi transparent duochrome and makes highlight pop). The tube of Gouache I have is white. I use this for details, as it's opaque (white watercolour doesn't yield the same results as Gouache).

Seeing as I've been really happy with the quality of my work, I've made a society 6. I've got a few pieces there already, and have a bunch more I need to digitise/upload. If you want to see my paintings as they're produced, my instagram is where the magic happens! 

Jumper: Thrifted, Shirt: Cotton On Belt: Alannah Hill, Skort: Home Made, Socks: Gifted, Shoes: Dr Martens. 

Jumper: Thrifted, Shirt: Cotton On Belt: Alannah Hill, Skort: Home Made, Socks: Gifted, Shoes: Dr Martens.